As many of you know, I have battled with weight loss for the past two years. I have said, over and over to myself, “I’ve gotta lose weight, I’ve gotta lose weight… or hang around bigger people.” I’ve tried everything from inline skating to Wii Fit. You remember Wii Fit? The One hundred-dollar bathroom scale that insults you! If I want to be insulted by a video game, I’ll go online and get tea-bagged by some 14-year-old kid playing Halo. Who needs that kind of humiliation?
Nothing can break these bonds of sedentary life Every form of exercise I’ve tried ends in personal injury. Until now.
Won’t you please watch my latest You Tube video and see why critics are calling Greg Morton the next Deepak Chopra. Join me on my personal journey of mind, body, and spirit. Drink the Kool Aid. Watch, ‘Greg Hearts Yoga,’ and post your comments below.
This week, Greg Morton will be cracking up audiences at Crackers Comedy Club in Indianapolis with Jamille Harlley.
This is a very special week for me. It marks my return to one of my favourite clubs and the place where I first debuted the Obama Man song. 4.2 million hits later, the song has become a major part of my show. I try to tweak the lyrics with each new event in the Obama presidency.
A recently reworked lyric in the song goes as follows.
Who can buy an ipod?
Give it to the Queen.
Who can shoot Bin Laden while he’s sleeping in his dreams? Obama Man.
Fans of this song and others like ‘Mom Jeans’ won’t be disappointed. A handful of new songs will make their debut on stage and on the air at the Bob & Tom Show. Herman Cain anyone?
WARNING: This video contains strong language that some people may find hilariously funny.
Come check me out this week at Comedy off Broadway in Lexington, KY
Here’s a clip from my recent appearance at the Winnipeg Comedy Festival last year.
Here’s Greg Morton with another song parody about the Jet Blue flight attendant who went off on all the passengers, on a Jet Blue flight from Pittsburgh to New York; and quite frankly, who can blame him? I’ve flown Jet Blue a number of times and I have to say, these people will eat your young just to be first off the plane. For what? Once you get to baggage claim, you still have to wait for your F@#$%! bags!
I used to enjoy travel. Now, the whole ordeal causes me great stress. Trying to catch connecting flights with only a short window of time and no back-up flight scheduled until the next day. Following arbitrary rules that seem to change every time I visit the airport. People who can’t match the seat number with the one on their ticket stub. Irate passengers trying to bring full size bags on board as carry-on. Infants who scream like a couple of tortured terror suspects from Gitmo. It’s enough to drive a sane person mad!
I know that a Jet Blue ticket is about the same as a bus ticket, but do we have to act like bus people? There’s a reason why we’re told to remain seated while the plane taxis into the gate. SAFETY YOU PIN HEAD!
I haven’t heard about any charges being brought against the passenger. Where is the justice? FREE STEVEN SLATER!
I just hope they’re not to hard on him. He’s a hero in my books. Everyone has a bad day, and everyone deserves a couple of beers after having one. … maybe three or four. Hell, maybe a case!
Good luck with your new life Steven, and I hope this song cheers you up!
Well, I finally broke down and bought an iPad and I have to say. I love it!
Recently, I’ve looked at animation apps, hoping to find a way to take some of my song parodies and turn them into short films. One app I came across is easy to use and reminds me of the flip books I used to make out of the corners of my note book pages. It’s called Animation Creator HD and it’s for the iPad and iPhone.
It’s easy to use. The tool bar is simple and direct. Buttons like Play, Delete, Copy, Add, Previous and Next make your first venture into the world of animation a breeze. Made a mistake? Push the undo button. If you need multiple things happening on screen, use the layer tool. I threw this quick 5 second animation together in about two hours and that includes familiarizing myself with the program and loading it to YouTube.
I love how you can view the previous drawing as if you were looking through the transparency of the page. There’s even a slider that adjust the playback time of your clips.
Red Software has done an excellent job. Here’s my wish list of features I’d like to see in their next update.
- A PAINT BUCKET TOOL FOR A CEL ANIMATION LOOK
- MORE BRUSH FEATURES LIKE CHALK AND CRAYON
- A VECTOR OR TRANSFORMATION TOOL
- WHAT IF I COULD EXPORT MY ANIMATION TO iMOVIE?
Animation Creator HD was not the app I was looking for, but a great place to start and its simplicity makes it great for newbs. Highly recommended at $1.99!
I love this sketch! Pretty bold move on the part of this improv group. You need cajones the size of Death Stars to pull this off on a NYC subway. Watch the reactions of the passengers. Brilliant!
Check out this hilarious youtube video by Patrick Boivin called AT-AT DAY AFTERNOON.
Greg Morton has just bought himself a Xmas present. That’s right. HAPPY XMAS TO ME!!! A brand new Xbox 360 slim. No more three red lights! Some of you may remember my rant over my second XBOX
and my fight with Microsoft to fix the damn thing. Now I have a fourth one and hopefully this one’s a keeper.
Microsoft has given the 360 an extreme makeover with its new piano black finish and chrome accents. The perfect electronic component for anyone with 80’s furniture. I’ve had the new xbox 360 slim since Friday and I love it! It’s slimmer, sleeker, sexier and a lot quieter than my old 360. Never again will my wife ask, “Where is that jet engine sound coming from?”
I’ve had the device running for 5 hours and it barely feels warm to the touch. If you watch the video I have posted on youtube, you’ll see the large grill and giant fan in this sucker. After Microsoft spent 1 billion dollars, fixing it’s red ring of death problem, I doubt they wish to repeat this scenario with it’s new console.
All controls on the device are touch sensitive. A feather touch of the buttons will turn it on, or open it’s tray. It’s a thing of beauty! 🙂
The transfer of all my data from my 120 GB HD went smoothly. (Roughly 1:15) A few licenses were not transferred but I’m not stressed. Some of those titles have been discontinued on XBOX live.
I feel sorry for anyone who ran out and bought an Elite or upgraded their Wi-Fi. This new console should have been called the Elite, with it’s built in Wi-Fi, HDMI, and 250 GB HD. Oh well, I’m just glad I waited. Or that my old console held up until the new one came out. 😉
Check out my unboxing video, where I compare the old and new xbox 360!
Another satirical propaganda spot from Greg Morton, on BP’s response to the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.