Category Archives: diary

Benefit for the family of Michael Boldon, hosted by Jamie Masada @ THE LAUGH FACTORY

This past Wednesday, Jamie Masada, CEO and founder of The Laugh Factory hosted a benefit for the family of Michael Boldon.  A cab driver who was killed on the Las Vegas Strip and Flamingo on Feb. 21st.

 

One hundred percent of the proceeds were given to Boldon’s family to assist them in this time of crisis.  

 

People don’t realize that Las Vegas is not ‘The Hangover,’ it is a community.  If we all come together, we can make a difference.  Like I overheard George say backstage in the green room, “It’s all about giving back.”  

 

Our hearts and prayers go out to all the families who have endured this horrible tragedy and we like to encourage all the clubs on the strip to put on similar benefits to aid the Boldon  family.  

 

Those who attended the show were treated to great show, featuring comedians, Gallagher, George Wallace, and Greg Morton.  

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Greg Morton Meets the Muppets!

Hopefully, you’ve followed me on twitter @GREGMORTONCOMIC because for the last 48 hours, running around Montreal at the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival.  Tonight was Gala night with the Muppets and it was in a word, EXTRAORDINARY!  It made me wanna quit what I’m doing and join the muppets.

The energy in the theatre was pure bliss.  I mean, c’mon!  Who doesn’t love the Muppets?  They bring back so many great memories.  I won’t spoil it for anyone who watches the television show; either here in Canada or Australia, but you’re in for a treat!  Hilarious muppet sketches, surprise appearances from all your favourite Muppets and a great line up of comedians.

*My favourite dressing room moment:  Jim Breuer doing Richard Pryor on the Muppets gala show!
*Highlight of the show:  DAMN NEAR EVERY-FREAKIN-THING!
*Highlight of my life:  Meeting Kermit the Frog
*Oh, and BTW:  I think I had a pretty good set.

 

Just for Laughs, let’s see Greg Morton in Montreal!

3:00 am.. Can’t sleep.
Jet lagged from Vegas.
Woke up several more times before finally getting up at 7:30.
Left City Airport at 11:15
I’m surrounded by my comic friends.  Pete Zedlacher, Ryan Belleville, Debra Digiovanni, Rebecca Kohler  1:30 pm
Rooms not ready!!! AAARGH!
Checked in at 3:00.  pm. Finally!
 Saw Mario Cantone from The View and Sex in the City in the lobby!
Had to make some last minute changes to my set.
I’ve got to get ready for my gala set with the Muppets.  Yes, those Muppets!
Whoa!  Time is flying by…
I’m starving, gotta get some room service.
Employees of Hotel are on strike!  NO ROOM SERVICE!
Does everyone strike in this town?
Polish set to be performed at the Comedy Nest.  Showtime is !0:30.  OMG!  It’s 8:05.  I should shower...

Greg Morton @ Baltimore Comedy Factory … Here’s what you missed!

If you didn’t get a chance to come out to the Baltimore Comedy Factory this past week, (March 29 – 31) then here’s a little taste of what you missed.

Two completely sold out shows, packed with spring feverish fans on a full moon weekend. Well… it sure felt like a full moon with some of the Factory’s most ruckus crowds ever!   Standing ovations every show and some of  the best raw comedy by C.J. and  Alabama,

If you’re new to this site and you want to follow Greg, please subscribe.  You’ll get weekly special announcements and access to fresh new content like the Mr. Gingrich song that debuted on this sight.

If you missed this past week at the Baltimore Comedy Factory, look for Greg to return to Baltimore, Thanksgiving Weekend.

Special thanks to Mickey, Amelia and Spiegel on 98 Rock.  (Mickey made me laugh the hardest I’ve ever laughed on air.)

Shout out to the folks at Fox 45 News for a memorable segment that had people stopping Greg on the street and in the grocery store!

Greg Morton Espouses the benefits of Yoga

As many of you know, I have battled with weight loss for the past two years.  I have said, over and over to myself, “I’ve gotta lose weight, I’ve gotta lose weight… or hang around bigger people.”  I’ve tried everything from inline skating to Wii Fit.  You remember Wii Fit?  The One hundred-dollar bathroom scale that insults you!  If I want to be insulted by a video game, I’ll go online and get tea-bagged by some 14-year-old kid playing Halo.  Who needs that kind of humiliation?

Nothing can break these bonds of sedentary life  Every form of exercise I’ve tried ends in personal injury.  Until now.

Won’t you please watch my latest You Tube video and see why critics are calling Greg Morton the next Deepak Chopra.  Join me on my personal journey of mind, body, and spirit.  Drink the Kool Aid.  Watch, ‘Greg Hearts Yoga,’ and post your comments below.

Thank you.

NEW XBOX 360 SLIM Review!


Greg Morton has just bought himself a Xmas present. That’s right. HAPPY XMAS TO ME!!! A brand new Xbox 360 slim. No more three red lights! Some of you may remember my rant over my second XBOX and my fight with Microsoft to fix the damn thing. Now I have a fourth one and hopefully this one’s a keeper.

Microsoft has given the 360 an extreme makeover with its new piano black finish and chrome accents. The perfect electronic component for anyone with 80’s furniture. I’ve had the new xbox 360 slim since Friday and I love it! It’s slimmer, sleeker, sexier and a lot quieter than my old 360. Never again will my wife ask, “Where is that jet engine sound coming from?”

I’ve had the device running for 5 hours and it barely feels warm to the touch. If you watch the video I have posted on youtube, you’ll see the large grill and giant fan in this sucker. After Microsoft spent 1 billion dollars, fixing it’s red ring of death problem, I doubt they wish to repeat this scenario with it’s new console.

All controls on the device are touch sensitive. A feather touch of the buttons will turn it on, or open it’s tray. It’s a thing of beauty! 🙂

The transfer of all my data from my 120 GB HD went smoothly. (Roughly 1:15) A few licenses were not transferred but I’m not stressed. Some of those titles have been discontinued on XBOX live.

I feel sorry for anyone who ran out and bought an Elite or upgraded their Wi-Fi. This new console should have been called the Elite, with it’s built in Wi-Fi, HDMI, and 250 GB HD. Oh well, I’m just glad I waited. Or that my old console held up until the new one came out. 😉

Check out my unboxing video, where I compare the old and new xbox 360!

Apple’s iPad, DO I NEED THIS THING?

Yesterday, Steve Jobs introduced his latest and greatest innovation to the world. The iPad. Yeah! Christmas is finally here!

After watching the keynote speech I was left wondering, do I need this thing? Maybe the recession has brought out my frugal side. Hey, wait a minute, I don’t have a frugal side! My wife and I have seven iPods, Four Mac computers and an iPhone between us. We need a Mac Museum.

I need to talk myself down off the ledge. This is what the conversation in my head sounded like yesterday.

FRUGAL SELF
What do you need that for?

ME
Look at it.

FURGAL SELF
It just looks like a big iPod Touch to me.

ME
It’s beautiful!

FRUGAL SELF
It’s 500 BUCKS!

ME
It’s $499. and I can put all my books on there.
I can display them on a virtual bookshelf like the trophies they are.

FRUGAL SELF
You haven’t even read all the books you have now.
For $500. you could almost buy two Kindles.

ME
Kindle? That thing looks like an Atari 1000 next to this thing.
With the iPad,I could surf the internet,
write email, listen to music, write notes, play games…

FRUGAL SELF
Your MacBook does all of those things.

ME
I could feel like one of the ship’s officers
on the flight deck of the Starship Enterprise.

FRUGAL SELF
You might feel like an ass
after spending that much money
on an oversized iPod Touch.

ME
It does look like an iPod Touch doesn’t it?

FRUGAL SELF
Or half an MacBook Air.

ME
But, I’ve been waiting for this thing for a whole year!

FRUGAL SELF
Wait another year and Jobs will come out
with another one that has twice as much memory
for half the price.

ME
I can’t wait that long.
I need an e-book reader.
It’s part of my plan to de-clutter.

FRUGAL SELF
De-clutter, what, your wallet?

ME
Shut up! I’m not listening. LA LA LA LA LA!
I want this. I want it. I want to live in the future.

FRUGAL SELF
What if you sent that money to Haiti?

ME

FRUGAL SELF

ME


I don’t need an iPad.

Obama Man Goes Viral (Part II)

Today, someone left a comment on my blog that said…

…that was terrific, where did you get the idea? I mean did you just wake up one morning and started humming the lyrics….c’mon every great idea has an inspiration. Tell us what triggered it.

Karl Williams

I thought, this might be a great opportunity to talk about where the inspiration for Obama Man came from.

I think it was a Thursday night in April  of 2009.  The night before I was about to appear on the Bob and Tom Radio Show.  I usually stay up the whole night obsessing over what material I’m going to do on the show.  I’m like a kid cramming for a test the next day.

I had just finished working with comedian Glen Jensen at Crackers Comedy Club and we were discussing Obama.  We work together quite a bit and we’re always trying out new material on each other.  He said to me, “Obama’s like Sammy Davis Jr.  He can do anything!”  When he said that, it felt like the a lightning rod of inspiration shot through my body.

Glen and I are huge fans of the old school entertainers like Sammy, Dean, Jerry and Frank.  but we always considered Sammy the best.  He could sing, dance, act, do impressions, play the trumpet and drums!

I said, “Hey, that’s a song!”  and started singing…

Who can fix your mortgage, General Motors too,

A bail out check for me and a bail out check for you. Obama Man.

By the time we were back to the hotel, I had the first verse written.  I dashed upstairs and started writing and Glen tried to find a karaoke version of Candy man.  We bounced ideas back and forth over the phone and had the whole thing written in less than an hour.

I burned the karaoke version to a blank CD and went out to my car at 4:00 in the morning and started practicing the song.  I didn’t want to disturb any of the guest at the hotel by singing in my room so I thought the car was the most private place to practice.  I’m belting the song out like I’m in the shower with a Mr. Microphone and this guy walking his dog gives me a WTF look.  Certainly not my most embarrassing moment but still memorable.

And that’s how the Obama Man song was born.  Thanks Karl!

NUIT BLANCHE TORONTO / 2009 REVIEW

CN Tower pulsates to electronic music on Nuit Blanche, 2009

CN Tower pulsates to electronic music on Nuit Blanche, 2009

This past Saturday, I attended Toronto’s 4th annual Nuit Blanche sponsored by Scotiabank.  A  celebration of contemporary art in the heart of the city.  This year, the event was attended by over 130,000 people!  (Some of them blotto) The event ran from 7PM Sat. to 7AM Sun.

I said to my wife, “I’m up for the challenge.  132 installations provided by 550 artist, spread out over three different sectors of downtown Toronto.  (God knows how many square miles)  Hell, we LIVE downtown!  All we need do is to step outside our door, and partake in the festivities.  Let’s do this.  Let’s pull an all-nighter!”

After seeing only a handful  exhibits, we sheepishly retired to our home at 3:00 AM.  (Someone should have had a nappy-poo.)

Frankly, I’m not sure anyone could see everything unless it were carefully planned.  Fortunately, the organizers provided an online digital guide.  A paperless brochure, filled with artist names, statements, pictures and information.

Let’s say you’re looking at a work of contemporary art, but you have no idea who the artist is, the title of the piece or what the piece represents, or even if  it’s art. WTF???  (The lines between contemporary art and reality are often blurred.) Simply take a digital snapshot of the icon next to the piece with your BlackBerry or iPhone camera, and all pertinent information will appear on screen.

If you want to locate that particular installation,  you can use the GPS function on your portable smart phone device.  Wow!  I LIVE IN THE  F@#$% FUTURE!  People were excitedly texting and tweeting each other, voting for their favorite installations.  It was very cool!

Here’s my final assessment of the evening…  WE LOVED IT!

I would strongly encourage anyone thinking of visiting Toronto next fall, to include Nuit Blanche as part of their schedule.  Hell, you’re going to see a lot of these landmarks anyway.  Why not see them with drunk people?

Aside from a few novice art critics and some amateur drinkers who left behind their own versions of Jackson Pollock, I thoroughly enjoyed this all-night contemporary art thing.

You know what the best thing about it was?  The price.  Absolutely FREE!

“Hey honey, let’s go get pissed up and look at some modern art.

I will be posting more digital pictures and videos once they’re developed.

*Hats off to all the organizers and volunteers who helped the night run smoothly.

TEA BAGGED AT THE LOUVRE

Greg Morton at the Louvre in Paris

Greg Morton at the Louvre in Paris