Cuba Trip Advisory

My wife and I have always wanted to go on a photo expedition. You know? Like the photographers from National Geographic, Time, or Newsweek Magazine? (Minus the Daniel Pearl part, of course.)

We chose Cuba because we heard that it was safe. One of the locals told us that Cuba has 3 million people. 1 million citizens, 2 million police. Very safe!

We also heard that Fidel Castro is very sick, and we were afraid that the place would completely change after he dies. You know, McDonalds on every corner, Starbucks, Check cashing places…

Of course, if the old man did croak while we were there, what a wonderful opportunity to snap some shots of a nation in mourning. Real Pulitzer Prize winning stuff.

My wife visited the the trip advisor on line and found out lots of things to worry about that would keep us from having fun. Things like, don’t eat the local food, or drink the local tap water. We decided to bring these low fat snacks to munch on late at night if we became hungry, and a large bottle of Purel hand sanitiser.

My wife was so anal about getting sick that she policed everything I ate. “Don’t eat the local vegetables, they could have been washed in tap water.” “Take those ice cubes out of your glass! You’ll get Hepatitis!” She was like Kate Blanchette in Babel.

Every night we went to bed starving, thinking, “I wish Fidel would hurry up and croak so we can get a half decent hamburger or a good cup of coffee around here. Thank God my wife brought a whole bag of those delicious low fat chocolates.

Then on the last day of the trip, after all that worrying, my wife was the one who got sick. The funny thing is, I don’t think it had anything to do with Cuba. I think it was the low fat chocolates. They probably contained Olestra!