Dress Rehersal and Sound Check: 5:30
Not much time. I start cursing myself. I’ve forgotten all of my trademark ties. My wife helps me pick out a few colored shirts to go with my suit. I leave all my wardrobe choices to my wife, or anyone who will give me free SWAG. I quickly shower, shave, dress myself and head for the lobby. 4:30 pick up. On the way down, on the elevator, I run into Kevin Hart, star of Soul Plane! Cool!
We have free transportation everywhere which is great because if it were left up to me, I’d be late for every gig, not to mention the higher insurance rates!
I spot Sean Cullen and his wife on their way into the hotel. We used to gig together when he was with Corky, and the Juice Pigs. The last time I saw him, he was starring in The Producers. I tell him he looks good. He tells me I look good. We both agree that we are good looking men and he wisks his wife off to safety.
Sean Meo, Tom Papa, Greg Fitzsimmons and myself are quickly carted off to the St. Denis Theatre, where our gala shows will take place. We’re already 15 to 20 minutes late.
Greg is on his cel phone the whole way, taking care of family business. Both his kids and his wife spent the day at the doctors office being deloused. This is the third time his kids have picked up lice at school. Greg tries to comfort me by telling me that it’s not as bad as tape worm. Apparently the little buggers are nocturnal and the only way you can see them is at night with a flash light up their rectum after they’ve gone to sleep. (The kids, not the tape worm.)
My head feels itchy.
GREG MORTON 