Just for Rehersal Pt. 1

Dress Rehersal and Sound Check: 5:30

Not much time. I start cursing myself. I’ve forgotten all of my trademark ties. My wife helps me pick out a few colored shirts to go with my suit. I leave all my wardrobe choices to my wife, or anyone who will give me free SWAG. I quickly shower, shave, dress myself and head for the lobby. 4:30 pick up. On the way down, on the elevator, I run into Kevin Hart, star of Soul Plane! Cool!

We have free transportation everywhere which is great because if it were left up to me, I’d be late for every gig, not to mention the higher insurance rates!

I spot Sean Cullen and his wife on their way into the hotel. We used to gig together when he was with Corky, and the Juice Pigs. The last time I saw him, he was starring in The Producers. I tell him he looks good. He tells me I look good. We both agree that we are good looking men and he wisks his wife off to safety.

Sean Meo, Tom Papa, Greg Fitzsimmons and myself are quickly carted off to the St. Denis Theatre, where our gala shows will take place. We’re already 15 to 20 minutes late.

Greg is on his cel phone the whole way, taking care of family business. Both his kids and his wife spent the day at the doctors office being deloused. This is the third time his kids have picked up lice at school. Greg tries to comfort me by telling me that it’s not as bad as tape worm. Apparently the little buggers are nocturnal and the only way you can see them is at night with a flash light up their rectum after they’ve gone to sleep. (The kids, not the tape worm.)

My head feels itchy.

Festival Week Part 1 SWAG FEST


Yesterday, my wife and I arrived in Montreal 2:30 and pretty much hit the ground running. We took VIA Rail, 1st class from Toronto to Montreal, hoping to alleviate as much stress as possible and let someone else do the driving.

This time, I’ve decided to take a different approach. My previous two times at the festival were stressful for me and I was bound and determined to just have a good time. I just want to let go and let God. Let the universe guide me and not the other way around.

We both hopped into a cab and the driver took us to the wrong hotel. So far, so good. My plan is working.

I started working on my 11 minute set at the Improv in Cleveland three months ago. I was wondering, how am I going to come up with 11 killer minutes of material? Ten weeks later, I’m wondering, how am I going to cut 8 minutes from my 19 minute set? Not a bad problem to have when you think about it.

When we checked into the Hyatt Regency, the first person I ran into was Richard Lanoie, from The Serious Comedy Site. Richard is a huge comedy fan and his whole site is dedicated to comedy. You check out his site at theseriouscomedysite.com

I remember meeting him at The Nest a year or two ago and I gave him a DVD. He told me he was a big fan and gave me a free t-shirt. Alright! SWAG!

Next, I ran into my manager, Tony Camacho who handed me my schedule and swag bag which contained an umbrella, walking wind up false teeth, a map of Montreal, an artist directory to help my failing short term memory and another t-shirt. Sweet! More SWAG! I’ve been here a matter of minutes and my wardrobe has already increased.