Microsoft, you have a problem.

2-22-07-broken_heart_xbox360.jpg DON’T BUY AN XBOX 360!

That’s right, you heard me!

DON’T BUY THIS STINKING PIECE OF CHEAP PLASTIC CRAP!

The console needs a major redesign. It has a 33% failure rate, t’s flawed, and they know it. Why do you think they’re spending over a billion dollars in repairs.

If you’re a 360 fanboy and your Xbox breaks down, I say again…

DON’T BUY ANOTHER ONE! Don’t reward these pin heads for their piss poor product! It’s made in China at the same place they make dog food and toys with lead paint.

I guess you can tell by the above rant that my Xbox 360 broke down.

I had just purchased a brand new copy of Bio Shock. The shooter that has been hailed as potential game of the year. Am I psyched? You bet!

I turn the machine on. Place the disc in the tray. Press start and I’m no more than two minutes into the CG intro when the screen freezes.

Am I bummed out? That’s an understatement. How can this be my fault? I haven’t touched the machine in over three freakin’ weeks. I know it wasn’t an act of God because God loves me and he would never want me to stop playing video games.

I called Microsoft and they showed me no love. No sympathy. No compassion. I know that’s hard to do when you live half way ‘round the world. (I know you live half way round the world Mr. Tech Support because your name is RV, and I don’t know anyone named after a large recreational vehicle.)

They asked me to send them $100. for repairs because my one year warranty was up. My machine is barely a year and a half old. SCREW YOU!

MICROSOFT, knows they have a defective product and they want ME to send THEM $100. to fix THEIR defective product? It’s not just the three red rings of death. Screen freezing is an issue. Take a look on the internet. I spent over an hour watching Youtube videos and reading forum postings about this problem. They should be paying me a hundred dollars for the inconvenience of going to the post office and sending in my machine.

I don’t think that purchasing a piece of electronic equipment and expecting it to last for more than a year is an unrealistic expectation. ESPECIALLY WHEN I’VE PAID $400. FOR IT!
There should be a class action law suit against Bill Gates and these clowns. This is not a paper hat. It’s a $400. machine.

I have 26 games and most of them are $60 a piece. I have an extra controller, two head sets and a freakin’ plastic guitar! For the love of God, how about some loyalty here! Your faulty product breaks down and I have to send YOU a hundred dollars. NEWS FLASH! You’re not the only next gen gaming console out there!

They told me when I get it back, I have the option of buying an extended warranty.
WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO BUY AN EXTENDED WARRANTY? It’s almost like buying protection from the mob.

STORE
Okay, that’ll be $399 plus tax.
You wanna get the extended
warranty with that?

CONSUMER
No thanks.

STORE
You know, you’re only covered
for 90 days. If something were to
happen… let’s say… it BREAKS!

CONSUMER
My 360 is going to break?
I’m paying $400 for something
that’s going to break in three months…

STORE
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You puttin’ words
in my mouth over here? I didn’t say dat. .
Duh Tree-Sixty is a very good product.
I’m just sayin’, shit happens, you know?
You might wanna tink about
protectin’ your investment.

CONSUMER
How much is the extended warranty?

STORE
200 bucks.

CONSUMER
200 BUCKS?!
I’M PAYING 400 BUCKS FOR THE
DAMN THING AND YOU WANT ME TO…

STORE
Whoa, whoa, whoa, keep your voice down, all right?
Now look, Mr. ah… ah…

CONSUMER
Sucker.

STORE
Mr. Sucker. You look like a
pretty reasonable guy, am I right?
…and you certainly
don’t look like someone who was born a minute ago.
Let’s say somethin’ were to happen,
like, let’s say when you leave here, poor old
Mr. Xbox happened to have a little
accident or somthin?
You bring it in, we take care of it,
no questions asked.

CONSUMER
No questions asked?

STORE
No questions asked.

CONSUMER
Oh, well… all right
Where do I bend over, I mean sign?

STORE
Right here, and believe me,
you won’t be sorry. You’re not just
buying an extended warranty.
You’re buying piece of mind. .

CONSUMER
Thanks.

STORE
So long, Sucker!

Dear XBOX 360,

Why have you forsaken me?

I paid my money, I took you home.

I kept you well ventilated and left you alone.

I put a fresh disc in your tray every day.

We watched movies together. Oh, the games we would play.

I’ve bragged about you to my Playstation friends.

We’ve played LIVE on the internet with other strange men.

Some say you’re too hot. They laugh and they scoff.

My wife says you sound like a jet taking off.

You awarded achievement points, for every goal I achieved.

I thought those points meant something, that’s what I believed.

I gave you the best gaming hours of my life

And this is how you repay me?

Good-bye and goodnight!

Whore!

I’m going to go play with my Wii.

…that is, if I can find one.

by Greg Morton

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: