My Special Travel Day in Hell or why I missed the show in Rapid City, SD

 

After a successful night at the Halifax Comedy Festival, I headed back to my room, called my wife and started packing.  I usually don’t sleep the night before a travel day.  I’m  afraid of missing my flight.  I have a Bob and Tom All-Star Show sponsored by Canadian Mist that I don’t want to miss in Rapid City, South Dakota.

 

5:10  I’m downstairs in the lobby, all checked out and waiting for my ride to the airport.  

 

5:15  My driver shows up in a Lincoln Towne car, ready to take me to the airport.  We both nod at each other  with a look of recognition but we’ve never met.  He mumbles something  in broken english.  I nod.  He throws my bag into the trunk.  I get into the car and show him my travel voucher.  We both realise I am not Mr. Ericson.  He quickly removes my bags from the car just in time for the real Mr. Ericson to show up.

 

5:28  My real driver shows up in a yellow cab. It’s snowing like a bastard.  

 

6:07  We arrive at the airport.  The line up is huge.

 

6:39  I’m still in line and the cue stretches almost outside the door.

 

6:49  Air Canada has finally started moving the line.  I check in and dash through security.  

 

6:58  I’ve made it to the gate and the plane hasn’t left.  Thank God.

 

7:07  Something’s wrong.  They have no flight attendant.  Someone didn’t show up for work.

 

8:43  We have a flight attendant and we’re finally boarding.

 

10:13  We arrive in Toronto.  I’ve missed my connection for Rapid City, SD and maybe even the Bob and Tom All-Star Show.

 

11:05  I’m rebooked to Rapid City, 

 

5:53  Arrive in Detroit.  My flight out of Toronto was delayed.

 

7:10  Flight out of Detroit delayed.  

 

7:45  The plane’s spoiler isn’t working.  The mechanics are working on it.  It should only be about fifteen minutes.  Oh well.  Better on the ground than in the ground!

 

8:48  The mechanics are still working on getting the spoiler to work.  The spoiler is located on the wing.  The spoiler helps the plane ascend and descend.  It also makes the plane look cool.  The captain makes another announcement.  “This should only be about fifteen minutes more… “

 

9:08  People are fed up and leaving the plane.  The captain pleads for patience.  It should only be another fifteen minutes.

 

9:50  We’ve been on the plane for over two hours.  More people are leaving.

 

9:56  We’re all leaving the plane and getting on another one that works… hopefully. 

 

10:38  We’re getting ready to board.  Looks like I’ll be stuck in Minneapolis for the night.  Free travel vouchers for everyone!  Yeah!

I guess I had better focus on getting to Sioux Falls for the Saturday Night show.

 

1:38 am  (Central Time)  I finally check into a hotel in St. Paul.  I’ve been up now for more than forty-one hours straight.

 

7:45  My alarm goes off.  Time to shower, shave, and iron the same shirt.  

 

9:00  The shuttle picks me up and takes me to the airport

 

9:35  I arrive at the airport and try to check in.  My ticket has been cancelled.

Meanwhile, in Rapid City, they’ve called my name three times.  

“’PASSENGER GREG MORTON.  THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO BOARD THIS FLIGHT  FOR MINNEAPOLIS…”

 

1:05   Arrive in Sioux Falls.  Luggage. Lost.  It’s in Rapid City, SD. 

 

I’d like to thank Kendal Maffett and of Outback Concerts and my wife for their continued support during this whole ordeal.