NO.  Not even if I were in a heroin induced coma.

Yesterday, Mackenzie Phillips, former child star on the 70’s sitcom, ‘One Dad At A Time,’ dropped a huge bombshell on the Oprah Winfrey Show.  She revealed a family secret that would make even Jerry Springer blush.  Reading a passage from her new tell-all book, she described  how she woke up from a drug induced blackout to discover her panties around her ankles and her father having consensual sex with her.  That’s right!  Her famous father from the 60’s group, The MaMas and the PaPas.  WTF?  Does MaMa know PaPa has been sleeping with Baby?  That is one Monday Morning I wouldn’t want to wake up to!

First of all, sex with your father is NEVER consensual.  Well, maybe in the Appalachians.

This show interview with Mackenzie Phillips, must have been part of Oprah’s new fall, feel good series, ‘Live Your Best Life.’  Lately,  Oprah has had some very uplifting shows. First, she had the interview with Crack-ney Houston, hocking her new comeback CD, I LOOK TO YOU.  (Or, as I like to call it, songs I sing to my pipe.) Then, she had a show about  Connie Culp, the woman who had her face shot off by her husband, because she shot her mouth off one too many times. And now, may I present to you the latest addition to the Oprah Book Club.  HIGH ON ARRIVAL.  A little light reading for back-to-school.

This book is worse than airing your dirty laundry in public.  This is, “I had a little accident, and HERE are the pants I pooped in!”   YUCK!

Then, she revealed another revelation.  When she was 18 years old, Mick Jagger locked her in a room and had sex with her.  Her father stood outside, loudly pounding on the door and protesting… “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE WITH MY DAUGHTER, AND MY WIFE?”

While telling the story, she seemed almost giddy and school-girlish .  “C’mon, who wouldn’t want to sleep with Mick Jagger?”  … ah, ME!  (Raised hand)  Not without a body condom and a hot Purell sitz bath.  Remember, when you sleep with Mick Jagger, you’re sleeping with a guy who (allegedly) ate a chocolate bar out of his Marianne Faithfull’s ass!

After all the dysfunctional details were revealed, her little anecdote about sleeping with Mick Jagger seemed almost normal.  Welcome to the new ‘normal’  – sick –

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