GTA IV, Time to do some lines.

by gregmorton, posted in diary, pictures

Last night, I picked up my copy of GTA IV.  I live in downtown Toronto so I took my wife for protection and my camera to capture the circus.  Here’s what I learned…

  • A lot of gamers do not bathe
  • A line up for GTA IV is not a good place to meet girls
  • Crack addicts see line ups as an economic opportunity

I picked up the special edition, which comes with a safety deposit lock box, tote bag, music cd, hard cover art book, one month subscription to xbox live, Liberty City Subway map, and GTA IV video game for the 360.  Nice package and very impressive!

The line ups had an average of 100 to 200 people in them.  

Futureshop was the most fun with free hats and a live DJ.  One kid in line at the Futureshop won a Playstation 3!  The wait, however, was considerably longer than Game Shack.  

Game Shack had one of the shortest and most efficient lines.  Game Shack patrons were coming out of the mall three minutes after twelve with their special edition GTA IV packages, and posters held high while performing a victory dance.  

The Best Buy line up had the most media coverage but appeared the most tepid in mood and creativity.  A mock Liberty City squad car with two uniformed gum-smacking models swinging night sticks?  LAME!  … and they gave away fuzzy dice.  ???

EB Gamestop had the most orderly lineup.  Situated inside the quiet, climate controlled Eaton Centre, I spotted over 100 GTA faithful sitting in a lotus position, quietly playing their Nintendo DS with ipod buds stuffed in their ears.

I found the over reaction of the local Po’ Po’ to be quite humorous.  I’ve never seen so many squad cars sitting two abreast, waiting for a bunch of nerds to start simulating their favorite M rated video game by car jacking someone, and driving off with a 4 star wanted level.  It’s a video game people!  Relax!  

 

My Special Travel Day in Hell or why I missed the show in Rapid City, SD

by gregmorton, posted in diary

 

After a successful night at the Halifax Comedy Festival, I headed back to my room, called my wife and started packing.  I usually don’t sleep the night before a travel day.  I’m  afraid of missing my flight.  I have a Bob and Tom All-Star Show sponsored by Canadian Mist that I don’t want to miss in Rapid City, South Dakota.

 

5:10  I’m downstairs in the lobby, all checked out and waiting for my ride to the airport.  

 

5:15  My driver shows up in a Lincoln Towne car, ready to take me to the airport.  We both nod at each other  with a look of recognition but we’ve never met.  He mumbles something  in broken english.  I nod.  He throws my bag into the trunk.  I get into the car and show him my travel voucher.  We both realise I am not Mr. Ericson.  He quickly removes my bags from the car just in time for the real Mr. Ericson to show up.

 

5:28  My real driver shows up in a yellow cab. It’s snowing like a bastard.  

 

6:07  We arrive at the airport.  The line up is huge.

 

6:39  I’m still in line and the cue stretches almost outside the door.

 

6:49  Air Canada has finally started moving the line.  I check in and dash through security.  

 

6:58  I’ve made it to the gate and the plane hasn’t left.  Thank God.

 

7:07  Something’s wrong.  They have no flight attendant.  Someone didn’t show up for work.

 

8:43  We have a flight attendant and we’re finally boarding.

 

10:13  We arrive in Toronto.  I’ve missed my connection for Rapid City, SD and maybe even the Bob and Tom All-Star Show.

 

11:05  I’m rebooked to Rapid City, 

 

5:53  Arrive in Detroit.  My flight out of Toronto was delayed.

 

7:10  Flight out of Detroit delayed.  

 

7:45  The plane’s spoiler isn’t working.  The mechanics are working on it.  It should only be about fifteen minutes.  Oh well.  Better on the ground than in the ground!

 

8:48  The mechanics are still working on getting the spoiler to work.  The spoiler is located on the wing.  The spoiler helps the plane ascend and descend.  It also makes the plane look cool.  The captain makes another announcement.  “This should only be about fifteen minutes more… “

 

9:08  People are fed up and leaving the plane.  The captain pleads for patience.  It should only be another fifteen minutes.

 

9:50  We’ve been on the plane for over two hours.  More people are leaving.

 

9:56  We’re all leaving the plane and getting on another one that works… hopefully. 

 

10:38  We’re getting ready to board.  Looks like I’ll be stuck in Minneapolis for the night.  Free travel vouchers for everyone!  Yeah!

I guess I had better focus on getting to Sioux Falls for the Saturday Night show.

 

1:38 am  (Central Time)  I finally check into a hotel in St. Paul.  I’ve been up now for more than forty-one hours straight.

 

7:45  My alarm goes off.  Time to shower, shave, and iron the same shirt.  

 

9:00  The shuttle picks me up and takes me to the airport

 

9:35  I arrive at the airport and try to check in.  My ticket has been cancelled.

Meanwhile, in Rapid City, they’ve called my name three times.  

“’PASSENGER GREG MORTON.  THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO BOARD THIS FLIGHT  FOR MINNEAPOLIS…”

 

1:05   Arrive in Sioux Falls.  Luggage. Lost.  It’s in Rapid City, SD. 

 

I’d like to thank Kendal Maffett and of Outback Concerts and my wife for their continued support during this whole ordeal.

 

 

Halifax Comedy Festival (Part 1)

by gregmorton, posted in diary

Greg Morton on stage Halifax Comedy FestivalWow!  Great audience last night.   I met a lot of nice people after the show.  The Comedy All-Stars show was outstanding.  In fact, it was so good I stood outside and asked people for extra money.  

… they laughed and kept walking.

I should have more details in my blog next week, plus some photos so tuned to this blog.

I’ve got to get some sleep.  I’ve got a 5:30 am pick-up for the airport.

The Debaters

by gregmorton, posted in diary, news, pictures, radio

Last night, I appeared on the CBC radio show, ‘The Debators.’  A show where comics debate hot topics and hot button issues with logic and a twist of humor.  The show is hosted by funny man Steve Paterson.  A good friend and one of the fastest ad-lib comics I know.  (That’s right, I name drop too.)

The debate topic was Star Wars vs Lord of the Rings.  Which one is the better franchise?  I was pro Star Wars of course and my debating partner, comedian Ron Sparks, was pro Lord of the Rings.  We both slaved through seconds of last minute prep to put forward our best arguments.  In the end, it was very close, but I prevailed.  

I won’t spoil it for you, but it was a great night!  

Simply click on the link above for more information on air times and sound bites of previous shows.  You won’t be disappointed.  

Shout outs to my fellow debaters, Al Rae, Fred MacAulay, Irwin Barker, Jonny Harris, Mark Forward, Debra DiGiovanni, Roman Danylo, Rebecca Northan, Pete Zedlacher, and Erica  Sigurdson.  Well done everybody! 

Ray Vazquez Tribute Show @ West Palm Improv

by gregmorton, posted in news, Special Announcements

comedianimageaspx.gif Greg Morton’s Tribute Show in Memory of Ray Vazquez Palm Beach County has suffered a great loss in the passing of Ray Vazquez, a loving father, faithful husband, loyal friend and devoted Firefighter/Paramedic. The Improv is honoring Ray by donating all ticket and Raffle proceeds from this show directly to his family. A cowardly gunman dressed in a suit and tie walked into a Wendy’s restaurant in Palm Beach County (Florida) at lunchtime on Monday, March 3rd, killing a Palm Beach County Fire-Rescue Lieutenant who was on his lunch break. The lunatic then went on shooting four others before turning the gun on himself. The Palm Beach County Fire-Rescue Lieutenant was taking a lunch break from training and met his wife and child at the restaurant. The 42-year-old Firefighter and his family had just left the restaurant when he returned to retrieve a toy his child had left behind. The Lieutenant was shot in the back as he stood at the counter. Michele Vazquez has expressed her appreciation of support from the community and asked that this statement be read summing up her thoughts and feelings about the response of the community, fellow firefighters, police officers, all public safety professionals and even complete strangers. “I don’t know where to begin or how to thank everyone. The support is overwhelming and so appreciated. My children and I thank you so much. People would comment about the fact that I was a cop and Ray a Fire-Medic. We have the two strongest extended families anyone could imagine. We love you all so much. Thank you for being here with me. When Ray started the fire service, I would ask why he called people, “Brother.” ….It didn’t take long for me to figure it out. I know you are feeling my pain and confusion. He loved working with you. I don’t understand why these horrible things happen. But, no horrible thing can take away our memories. My husband was an outstanding father and the most giving husband. He was my best friend, I’m going to miss him so much. Michele Vazquez (Wife of Ray Vazquez) Michele, Our prayers are with you and your family… we love you and God Bless you. All proceeds will go to the Vazquez Family…Please join us Thursday night, won’t you?