Here’s Sony’s Answer
Once, Twice, Three Times? 360?
Roller Bagged!
Oh No You Can’t!
Well, it’s happened just like I predicted. Yesterday, I blogged about companies trying to capitalize on the popularity of the new president and his family.
J-Crew stock rose 10% yesterday after it was discovered that the inaugural outfits worn by Sasha and Malia were designed by the company. Witness the power of the Obama brand.
Heck, I haven’t even discussed the popularity of the commemorative plates! This president could single handedly spearhead an economic turnaround through product placement.
Now, Tyco Toys has released two beanie baby dolls named Sasha and Malia in an attempt to exploit the popularity of the Obama girls. Oh no you di-n’t! SNAP! The girls are private citizens and First Lady, Mama Obama will have none o’ dat!
Expect a cease and desist order from the office of the First Lady.
The dolls sell for ten dollars each and all proceeds from the pending law suit will go to help feed the lawyers.
The New Generation?
After the inauguration, like many of you, I felt moved by this historical moment with feelings of hope and the promise of change, not just for the nation but for the world!
Then, I watched a commercial that made me aware of another change. The rebranding of Pepsi Cola. Look at Obama’s campaign logo on the left and the new Pepsi logo on the right. Notice anything?
Is this the new message of change? Yes we can, change our can?
I don’t recall Obama mentioning Pepsi in his speech…
OBAMA: “Each and every time, the choice of a new generation, has risen up and done what’s needed to be done. Today we are called once more — to go to the fridge – Take the Pepsi challenge, and have a Pepsi Day!
YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!
Volunteer work may require lots of energy but it also requires teeth. Don’t expect to do any community work if you haven’t gotten a little dental work first.
Oh well. At least they didn’t use boobs this time. Hey, wait a minute!
Obama and boobs! That’s it! GET ME OBAMA GIRL ON THE PHONE!
Watch for more rebranding by the big corporations as they piggy back on the popularity of the new president in an attempt to capitalize on the Obama brand.
Including myself.
Bill Brownstein, of the Montreal Gazette, writes…
Canadian comedian one of most entertaining acts anywhere
“He does vocal impressions to rival those of anyone.”
BILL BROWNSTEIN, The Gazette
Published: 22 hours ago
The setting was the 2001 Just for Laughs fest here. The hyper-energetic comedian on stage had just completed a dazzling, near-dizzying performance in which he had condensed the Star Wars film saga down to a palatable two minutes. In so doing, he used more than a dozen dead-on impressions of everyone from Darth Vader to Yoda to ever-growling Chewbacca the Wookie monster. He brought down the house.
A fellow sitting next to me lamented to his wife that he wished Canada could produce such “polished American performers who grasp the entertainment aspect of show-biz.”
Well, once again, folks should never assume. The performer in question, Greg Morton, was, in fact, no Yank. He hails from that show-biz capital of Woodstock, Ont. And maybe because he grew up in a small town where entertainment options were limited, Morton was able to put his imagination to the test and was able to eventually hone one of the most entertaining acts on either side of the border.
Morton does vocal impressions to rival those of anyone on the continent. But he is not merely content to, say, do a 10-second byte of Marlon Brando doing The Godfather. He takes his act to another level and incorporates a dozen voices to create a veritable symphony.
And as the fellow who caught him at the comedy fest can attest, no one leaves a Greg Morton performance un-entertained.
So consider yourselves alerted: Morton brings his act back to town this week for a gig tonight at Bourbon Street West, followed by three nights at Ernie Butler’s Comedy Nest downtown.
Morton is not being boastful when he says he can pretty much imitate any voice he hears, as long as it is in his vocal range. Some say he does Jack Nicholson and Jerry Lewis better than they do. Morton attributes his gift for mimicry back to his upbringing in the quaint community of Woodstock.
“When I was a kid, I was a big lover of cartoons,” says Morton, 50, who now lives with his wife in Toronto. “I was an only child playing by myself. To pass the time, I would draw characters and then come up with voices for them. With my toys, I would do the same and act out little plays.”
It reached the point where Morton wasn’t sure if this obsession with voices would lead him into the entertainment world or therapy on the couch of a shrink. Fortunately, it was the former
“The only difference between over-imaginative kids and comics is that the comics never stop playing. Also, the comics get paid for playing. It doesn’t get much better than that.
“Still, while impressionists like Rich Little were big heroes of mine growing up, I just never dreamed a career like that would be in the cards for me. So, instead, I focused mainly on my drawing, thinking I had a better shot to make it as an artist.”
After studying classical animation at Sheridan College, Morton landed work as a cartoonist and illustrated such hit shows as Scooby Doo and Scrappy Doo and Heavy Metal. But the solitary life of an artist got to him, so Morton started to work as a DJ, spinning discs and spewing one-liners. He then had the brainwave to supply voices for the animated offerings of others.
When he finally found his voice – voices – 22 years ago, he leapt into performing full time. Morton is, not surprisingly, much in demand on the casino circuit in Vegas and Atlantic City. That’s because, Canuck or not, he is a consummate performer. He is also a consummate creator. In addition to his show-stopping Star Wars routine, he has also managed to condense the Lord of the Rings trilogy into just two minutes, showcasing more than a dozen voices and critters – and saving impatient people 14 hours or so of movie viewing in the process.
Greg Morton’s performance at Bourbon Street West tonight is sold out. Some tickets do remain for Morton’s shows, tomorrow through Saturday at Ernie Butler’s Comedy Nest, in the Pepsi Forum, 2313 Ste. Catherine St. W. Call 514-932-6378.
bbrownst@thegazette.canwest.com
Greg News
Morton Unleashed!
Sept. 23 I made a lengthy trip to L.A. to record an episode of Comics Unleashed with Byron Allen.
It was a lot of fun, but I almost didn’t make it. My flight was delayed and I missed my connection. They inspected the plane and found a bird caught in the engine.
Hey, if it’s between a bird and a 747, the 747 is going to win every time. Right? Heh, heh.
Plus, there’s more than one engine on a 747.
I guess there’s a hell of a lot more birds too!
Yeah, that would be my luck. I’m off to one of my first big breaks in Hollywood and the damn plane crashes.
The episode should air in a couple of weeks on the CW network. Check your local listings for channel and time. I’ll keep you posted.
Hmm… Maybe I should drive to my gig in Louisville this week.
Letters To The Housekeeping Department
I got a letter from housekeeping today and I wondered what it would be like if I started writing letters back.
7/04/08
Dear Valued Guest:
We are sorry we missed you today, but the Do Not Disturb sign was posted on your room door today during Housekeeping normal hours and so therefore your room was not disturbed for cleaning purposes.
IF you need Fresh Towels, Soap or other Toiletries don’t hesitate to call down to Guest Services where they will provide you what you need.
We hope you are enjoying your Stay here.
Thank You
Comfort Suites Perimeter
Housekeeping Department
Dear Valued Housekeeping:
I am sorry that I was not able to let you in during normal Housekeeping hours for the purpose of cleaning my room. My hours of activity and sleep are quite abnormal when compared to your average guest. I am quite pleased however, with the kindness and respect that you show your guest by not disturbing them when the ‘Do Not Disturb,’ sign is posted on the door.
If your fine staff of housekeepers would like to return to my room some time between the hours of 12:00 AM and 3:00 AM, you would find me more receptive. I am usually out and about during this time enjoying a late night walk in a public park.
Thank You so much for respecting my privacy as a guest of your fine establishment. I look forward to meeting some of your fine housekeeping staff in the future.
Thank You
Guest of Comfort Suites Perimeter
Business Traveler and collector of Frequent Stay Reward Points
7/05/08
Dear Valued Guest:
We are sorry we missed you today, but the Do Not Disturb sign was posted on your room door today during Housekeeping normal hours and so therefore your room was not disturbed for cleaning purposes.
IF you need Fresh Towels, Soap or other Toiletries don’t hesitate to call down to Guest Services where they will provide you what you need.
We hope you are enjoying your Stay here.
Thank You
Comfort Suites Perimeter
Housekeeping Department
Dear Housekeeping
Once again, I appreciate your concern for the tidiness and sanitary condition of my room. It is not often that a frequent business traveller like myself receives this much attention. I regret that somehow we may have missed each other again, however, I remain hopeful that one day we will meet face to face. Let me reiterate. The best time to meet is between 12:00 AM and 3:00 AM.
Your kind offer of Fresh Towels, Soap or other Toiletries has not gone unoticed. If I may make a special request of your hard working housekeeping staff, it would be for the provision of towels. I would like lots and lots of towels left at my door. As many as you can spare. One very sharp knife or butcher blade. A jug of strong cleaning solvent and some Extra Strength Febreeze. 30 meters of binder twine and some Sodium Peroxide or lye. Enough to fill a bathtub.
I hope it’s not asking too much. You’ve all been so kind here at the Comfort Suites Perimiter and I do hate to impose upon you. The provision of any or all said items would save me a great deal of trouble and embarrassment.
Thank You
Guest and Permanent Resident of Comfort Suites Perimeter
Business Traveler and collector of Frequent Stay Reward Points
8/01/08
Dear Guest
For several weeks now, our Housekeeping staff has attempted to clean your room.
We have also received complaints of a strong odor coming from your room described by other guest as the smell of a dead animal. May I remind you of our No Pet Policy here at the Comfort Suites Perimeter.
As a courtesy to your fellow and future guest, please refrain from keeping any pets in your room. We hope you will give this matter your imediate attention.
Thank You
Comfort Suites Perimeter
Management
Dear Management:
I find the tone of your last letter to be quite accusatory and one-sided. You say that you have received complaints from other guest about an odor allegedly emanating from my room.
First of all, what animal odor? I have no dog, Gerbil or pet of any kind in my room as I am allergic to pet dander.
Secondly, who are these guest? Why have they not voiced their disapproval to my face. I have no problem making myself available to any guest who has a problem with the alleged smell emanating from my room. The best time to contact me is between the hours of 12:00 AM and 3:00 AM.
I have noted this time to your Housekeeping staff in several previous letters and yet they have ignored the guidelines I’ve put in place. I have endured several blatant attempts to invade my privacy here at the Comfort Suites Perimiter. I find very little COMFORT in that.
In light of the situation, I have attempted to service the room myself and with very little help I might add. Please note that my request for cleaning solvent, binder twine, a knife or butcher blade, Febreeze and lye have been completely ignored. I’ve had to horde most of the towels myself in order to meet my original request.
Im afraid my tenure here as a valued guest and collector of Frequent Stay Reward Points may be prematurely cut short if you persist in addressing me in such a displeasurable tone. May I remind you that a Hilton Garden Inn Suites is located directly across the street your establishment.
Good Day Sir/Madam
(May not be…) Valued Guest of Comfort Suites Perimeter (for much longer)
Collector of Hilton Honors Club Points
GREG MORTON 